VIDEO MASH-UP: Edward Cullen Meets Buffy Summers

OMFG! HAHAHAHAHA! YESSSSSSSS!!! The smackdown of the century! F-I-N-A-L-L-Y! I've always said Edward Cullen = creepy stalkerish! This video just confirms it! :-) :-D

Hmm... To vlog or not to vlog? That IS the question lol And no the answer does not involve me dancing on YouTube in my Wonder Woman underoos! :-P

*Le Sigh* Some Guys Really Have No Clue...

Mood: Amused
Music: Sublime - Santeria ♫

OK, so I got an interesting message today on MySpace and, for obvious reasons, it really made me laugh. Behold!

Date: Jun 22, 2009 10:25 AM

Subject: hi

so how are you today and im a very nice man that you will ever meet in your whole entire life and im a very honest man that you will ever meet and im single right now because i was in this 3/1 realationship with my ex girlfriend and for some reason she just became a real bitch towards me for no reason at all and now i been single for a yr and half now and im trying to get to no you better more and so we can get to no each other better more and i really think that you are a very goreous female and i wanna get to no you but you gotta let me no wats up allright sexy and have a good day and take care and be safe ok sexy holla at me

Hmm... Where do I begin with this one? I get these types of messages all the time on-line and they never fail to amuse me...

1.) For Christ's sake, if you're gonna write me with the intention of trying to get into my pants at the very least use SPELLCHECK! Misspelled words do not impress me. I don't care how many times you call me sexy, stop being too lazy to open a friggin' dictionary! Psst! There's a reason some words get underlined in red on your screen, esé. Figure it out.

2.) Don't even get me started on grammar and punctuation. Homefry couldn't even be bothered to capitalize one word in his entire e-mail let alone use a period, comma, question mark or exclamation point.

3.) I am 32! Ebonics DOES NOT IMPRESS ME!! Backwards hats, gold chains, Tommy Hilfiger shirts, and baggy jeans ready to fall off a flat ass DO NOT IMPRESS ME!! The thought of hanging out in your room all day (in a house you're most likely renting with 5-7 of your cousins) because you don't have a car or any money to take me out on a date DOES NOT IMPRESS ME!! Get back to me when you actually have something more to offer. (HINT: Your dick doesn't count!)

4.) Why would I even consider dating a guy who feels the need to immediately trash talk his ex-GF to a complete stranger? That just screams NO CLASS!! Not to mention, why would you tell a girl you're trying to impress that the last girl you were with suddenly started acting like a "bitch" to you "for no reason at all"? Sorry, buddy, but there was definitely a reason. I can see it from here.

5.) I am always flattered when someone finds me attractive enough to e-mail me in hopes of getting to know me better... (Or, in homeslice's case, "to get to no you better more." *Snickers*) I think it's very sweet. That said, this guy is not trying to get to know me AT ALL. He hasn't asked me ONE QUESTION yet. All he's done is talk smack about his ex, clued me in on how wonderful he is, and told me repeatedly how sexy he thinks I am. *Eyeroll*

BTW, the guy that wrote me? His profile is decorated with marijuana and his subject header is "Smoke Weed Everyday!" Haha

Whoa! Stand back, ladies! We've got a keeper! LOL ;)

xoxo
Miss Mia

Invasion of the Rat Snatchers!

A week ago you wouldn't have been able to convince me to hold a rat, let alone own one. Now? I'm the proud owner of TWO! That's right, folks! I got another rat!

Introducing...REMY!!

Isn't she adorable? And, before anyone asks: yes, I named her after the rat in Ratatouille. *Wink*

Remy is a hooded fawn dumbo rat. Dumbo rats are specially bred for their round, droopy ears. Hence, the name Dumbo after everyone's favorite flying elephant. Hmm... they actually look more like mice than rats, don't they? Too cute!

Remy is still a baby. She's about 2 months old and an inch or two smaller than my other rat Nimue. Nim is 3-4 months old. Sherry, the clerk at the pet store, said younger rats have more energy so here's hoping they get along! :-)

In which our Hapless Heroine becomes a Rat Fancier...

Mood: Ratified
Music: "Ben" by Michael Jackson ♫

When I left the house today I had a lot of things I wanted to accomplish: exhanging a pair of sneaks I bought yesterday for a bigger size (Check.), swinging by Wal-mart for a couple of weekly essentials (Shampoo? Check. Toilet paper? Check. Mars Bar to fill the emptiness in my soul? Dayum skippy!), and a quick pit-stop at good ol' Mickey D's for lunch. (Yum! Is there anything their fries can't fix? *Drools* McCheck.)

Then it was off to PetSmart to hunt down some food for the furfamily and shamelessly oggle fish for an hour or two. Why? Because they like it. And because I can! :-P

Little did I know I was about to meet a cuddly little rodent I wouldn't be able to resist. [::Cues cheesy omonious music::] Dun, dun, dunnn...

Meet Nimue! (Pronounced NIM-oo-ay.) My new hooded blue pet rat! :-)

Isn't she adorable? She's sleepy here and resting her chin on my hand. I know--Awww! :-)

Now how in Ratatouille Hell did I manage to walk into a pet store in search of kibble and waltz out 45 minutes later with a rat-in-the-box? Good question!

I originally started off my adventure by asking to hold a teddy bear hamster who's serene cuteness while in it's tank lulled me into a false sense of security. I'll tell you, you haven't lived until you've seen a tubby little hammie hiss at you and roll over on it's back PREPARED FOR WAR! RAWR!! Of course, the threat of being bitten was another matter entirely. Hamsters may be cute but they don't play. They GANGSTA, baby!

So Sherri, the lovely clerk helping me out, suggested I try a Russian dwarf hamster instead: smaller, calmer, and more "mousy"-looking but not really my cup of tea. I'd already owned a Russian dwarf named Viktor when I was a teenager and he basically stayed in his cage. Too much of a divo to share his greatness with the rest of the world! HUMPH! Then again, when you're only 3 inches long, the rest of the world can be the living room LOL

Grr! I wanted a fuzzy little friend I could actually cuddle, dagnabbit! (And I seriously wanna know why spellcheck popped up for that word! *Stompsfoot* Oldcootisms are the best, man!)

That's when I spied the chinchilla cage and found myself magnetically drawn to it. An ex (who shall remain nameless!) once told me about his pet chinchilla and how supersoft its fur was. OOOOH! FLUFFY!

So I asked Sherri if I could pet the chinchilla... *Blinkblink* I swear, it's not as kinky as it sounds!

Ohmygosh! It was so soft you'd think it'd been dipped in Snuggle® fabric softner and professionally dry cleaned before she'd handed it to me. Unfortunately, it had a price tag to go along with it. $149!!!!!! I shit you not! Were they going to throw in Scotchgard™ with that too?

So I handed the chinchilla back to Sherri and looked around the remaining tanks in frustration. Guinea pigs, hamsters, and rabbits--oh my! All pets I've had before. *Le sigh* The gerbils were kinda cute but they reminded me too much of hamsters with tails. And don't even get me started on the diabolical mission of ferrets to take over the world.

*Le sigh* I was about to give up on ever finding a new little furball to call my own when Sherri's face lit up and she walked me over to another tank; one I hadn't even seen because it was at the bottom of the case at floor level.

"I have the perfect pet for you," she said. "Now try to keep an open mind..."

My mind stayed wide open for about a minute and a half until I saw the rats she was lifting out of the tank then the top of my head slammed shut again.

"RATS?!" I said. Okay, so "said" is definitely an understatement. More like shrieked. Loud enough for several people to stop while passing us.

"Just try it," she said as she pulled out a gray and white rat and shoved it at me. "They're very loving and smart."

"Okaaay..." I'm sure the look on my face at that particular moment left no doubt to what I was thinking about her current mental state LOL

I took the rat from her and waited for Armageddon to begin. The end of the world surely was upon us because I was in a pet store holding a rat instead of running for the nearest Starbucks. (Mocha frappuccino? Check!)

Of course, I'd seriously underestimated the rat she'd just placed in my hands... ;-)

"This one's my favorite," Sherri said. "She's very sweet. I want to make sure she gets a good home."

I looked down at the rat as she cocked her little head to the side and looked up at me. "Well, she is kinda cute," I said tentatively, "...in a ratty sort of way."

Then Le Rat, who wasn't at all satisfied with being labeled kinda cute, decided to up the Cuteness Factor to a whole other level: she stood up on her hind legs, leaned in close to me, and touched her nose to my lips!

AWWWWWWW!!! :-) :-D XD

"DID SHE JUST KISS ME?!" I shrieked again, this time causing several dogs in the Grooming area to howl in pain.

Sherri's face lit up. "Yeah, she did. I wasn't sure if she'd do that for you. She loves giving kisses."

"OHMYGOSHYOU'RESHITTINGMENOWAAAYYYYY! I didn't know rats could do that?!?!"

Sherri's smile was stunning. "Rats can do all kinds of tricks. I own a few myself. My daughter's rat likes to sit on her shoulder while she works on the computer all day."

I don't remember what I said at that point because Le Rat stood up and tapped her nose against my lips again.

ELVIS ALMIGHTY!!! :-) :-D XD AND AWWWWW SHUCKS!!!!!!

Sherri mentioned wanting to find this particular rat a good home again. Yeah, mission accomplished, Sherri! LOL I was a goner and I knew it now. They had converted me!

"So what are you going to name her?" Sherri asked, quite shamelessly. Her grin definitely had "shiteating" written all over it.

I looked down at the adorable little fuzzbucket that'd somehow managed to turn my entire world upside down in two seconds seconds flat and I just knew...

"Nimue," I said. "I'll name her Nimue."

So it is written, so shall it be! ;-)

xoxo
Miss Mia

w00t! I Can Haz New Sneakerz!

Mood: Shoetastic
Music: Does labored breathing count? LOL

Sooo... I've been doing a LOT of walking/jogging lately in a bid to get more fit by my birfday on April 11th. Don't laugh. I iz serious!

Fortunately, my old shoes had other plans. They're lazy shoes. They want to curl up in front of the TV popping Hershey's Kisses all day while watching reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. (Arguably the most influential show of our time. *AHEM*)

Oh, wait...I was suppose to type unfortunately, wasn't it? [::Smirk::]

Enter BOGO--Payless ShoeSource's "Buy One Get One" 1/2 off sale (KEE-YAH!)--and the rest of this blog post basically writes itself! LOL

Ch-ch-check it out!


Champion Pink Cruise
Price: $32.99


Champion Bronze Motivate
Price: $39.99
Sale: $32.99
The only downside to my entire shopping excursion? I wound up so tired from working on this blog until 6 AM the night before that I forgot to bring socks to try shoes on with. I worked in shoe sales for almost 9 years so I definitely know better...

FIRST RULE OF SHOE SHOPPING - YOU DO NOT TRY NEW SHOES ON WITHOUT SOCKS!!! It just isn't done!

Fastforward to the ginormous toe crunch I experienced when I got home and attempted to shove my poor little piggies into the Motivates a la stuffed sausage style! Thbbbt! EPIC FAIL! I felt like one of Cinderella's Ugly Step-Sisterson Prom night! LOL Ugh!

The wild thing is, I take a size 9 US in sneakers. Have for the past 10+ years of my adult life. (Heh. Go on! Try to figure out my age! *Wink*) I have never needed to buy a size 9 1/2 in any shoe! N-E-V-E-R!

Which begs the question: am I exercising enough or too much? Are my feet swollen or just pleasently plump? And will someone out there please let that poor LOLcat haz his cheeseburgerz already?! Sheesh!

xoxo
Miss Mia


more animals

My New Anthem—GaGa

Mood: GaGalicious
Music: "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa vs. Eurythmics (Divide & Kreate Remix)


I was never really a Lady GaGa fan until I heard this version of her hit song "Just Dance". Now I'm OBSESSED!! Love, love, LOVE the Eurythmics "Sweet Dreams"! C-L-A-S-S-I-C!

Combine that with GaGa's husky vocals and unique sense of style and you've got a recipe for pure wholesome glam pop goodness rolled into a bodysuit and topped with blonde bangs!

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth (Oh oh oh-oh)
How'd I turn my shirt inside out? (Inside out right)
Control your poison, babe, roses have thorns they say
And we're all getting hosed tonight (Oh oh oh-oh)

What's going on on the floor?
I love this record, baby, but I can't see straight anymore
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright

Just dance
Gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance
Spin that record, babe, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance
Gonna be okay,
D-d-d-dance, dance, dance
Just, j-j-just dance

This song is literally impossible not to shake your ass to! Go on, try it! I dare you! :-P

xoxo
Miss Mia